I stood there and did the subtraction in my head, getting the number of years, months, and days that the boy lived. well above the thick stakes it is held between, its crown shapely, its leaves rich dark green with the special shine all living things have in their youth. Around it its elders lean, in their contortions from crowding, as is their nature; fallen limbs under them. now, for fourteen years, decorations have appeared on the tree. I went up there early one weekday morning, when nobody would be around. I wanted the time to study them and not get stared at. on the trunk this time. Globes covered with some shiny synthetic fi ber hang from the branches: twenty-three red ones, two blue, and in no discernible arrangement, have hung there weeks, now, past the holiday season, fraying and fading, in always have been. They don't get forgotten about: the choice, arrangement, and handling of them do not matter, Taste doesn't matter, behind them being the grief that stays on, alive, under whatever the rest may be by which living gets done. There to be visited, on its occasions. |